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Nymphomania: A Psychological Addiction by A.E. Cox “Nymphomania is an abnormal and uncontrollable desire, particularly by a woman, for sexual intercourse,” says Webster's New World College Dictionary. Sex is no longer a biological necessity in today's technological society. Most people today simply engage in sexual intercourse for pleasure. There is probably a thin line between normal and abnormal due to that fact that we are living in a sex-obsessed society; however, a sexual addiction is the inability to stop a behaviour even when it causes harm to oneself, others or relationships. This harm may be physical, emotional or even legal. A major writer in this area is Carnes, editor of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention, and he has classified different levels of sexual addiction. Level One includes excessive masturbation, repeated affairs destroying loving relationships, unusual demands for intercourse, nymphomania, promiscuity, pornography obsession, frequent use of prostitutes or strong homosexual interests. Level Two may include exhibitionism, voyeurism, stalking to seek relationships or indecent phone calls. Incest, child sexual abuse, date rape, stalking to harm or rape and violent control are included in Level Three. The harm these actions can cause to oneself and others is obvious; there must be many causes for these diverse behaviours. Rarely is nymphomania recognized as a sexual addiction in society. Nymphomania is usually not classified as a mental illness because society has turned it into more of a character trait. Nymphomaniacs may be called “sluts,” “whores,” “promiscuous” or “sexually liberated” depending on their gender and social context. Nymphomania is not as thoroughly recognized as a mental illness as it should be. It is a highly psychological addiction and relates to relationship insecurities. There are a number of factors that cause sexual addiction. Relationship problems, past sexual abuse, confusion between sex and love and sex as a tool to escape negative emotions are just a few of these possible factors. Through his studies of sexual addicts, Carnes found that these people all shared common background. For example, 81% were abused themselves in some way and 83% have had additional addictions such as alcohol, food, gambling or antisocial behaviour. A board member of the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsion, Patricia Fargason, says sexual addicts often come from “oversexualized” homes, meaning an adult's sexual interests interfere in some form with a child. Sexual fantasizing or masturbating could be a form of release to sooth anxiety, fear, sexual urges or anger; if this process begins from a young age it can evolve into an addition and dependence. This abuse of the natural sex drive can start at any time in life, however, and it can progress into a compulsion that the addict cannot control. Once this addiction becomes a compulsion it creates danger to the addict because they begin to rationalize their actions and become blinded by their obsession. “I am just having fun,” “It's normal” or “It's just sex” are some of the rationalizations these people may experience. Patterns of bahaviour or rituals develop due to this rationalization and the addict sees their addiction as being 'normal.' The lives of these sexual addicts are hardly “exciting.” The consequences of sexual addiction are serious: severe depression, guilt and shame, self-demeaning despair, helplessness, intense anxiety, loneliness, moral conflict between ethics and values, fear of rejection, self-deceit, self-loathing, low self-esteem, distorted thinking and even suicide. Seventy-five percent of sexual addicts have thought about suicide. They can disrupt their family life, become involved with the wrong people, cause financial or legal difficulties or hurt themselves and their partners physically or emotionally. Sexual addiction can be compared to other addictions such as alcoholism or drug addiction. These two addictions are motivated by a desire to chemically alter the mind while sexual addiction is motivated by relationship issues. Both types of addictions are an attempt to obliterate awareness of reality and they can be dealt with in similar ways. With any addiction, a person can develop a tolerance and need more stimulation to gain the same level of arousal or pleasure obtained previously with less stimulation. With sexual addiction, this tolerance may develop into seeking out more unusual sexual experiences and more frequent sexual experiences. There are indeed therapies and cures for nymphomania and sexual addiction. Treatment programs are being developed as well as 12-step programs. Recovery takes time and hard work, but there is definite possibility in restoration of an addict's emotional, relational, financial and spiritual life. Partners can even get help if the sex addict does not; the feelings of loss, anger and loneliness can be overwhelming for one trying to deal with a sexually addicted partner. Professional treatment is usually necessary if the addiction includes inappropriate or dangerous behaviours such as stalking or abuse. There are books and telephone counseling as alternatives as well. In a society where sex is considered 'necessary' in a relationship, it is hard to distinguish an addiction from a lifestyle. Sexual addiction has been long overlooked and only now are psychologists beginning to realize that without professional attention, it can become a self-destructive, dangerous and uncontrollable obsession. « BACK |